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March 10, 2005
Cystine Scalpel
Much internal debate was exercised over my decision to post the forthcoming content. In the end I decided in favor of it because it was your, the readers of my ramblings, entertainment that took paramount concern in the matter. My embarrassment becomes your delight; can't you see how much I love you?
The other day a pain in my lower back so excruciating presented itself while I sat trying my darndest to create some coupons. So much in fact that I left work a bit early in order to give my spine a morsel of respite. Upon returning home and receiving an amateur diagnosis from my mother it was decided that it was not a bruise but rather a cyst that needed immediate attention. Upon my inquiry into what could be done the ominous word 'lanced' was uttered when what I was hoping for was more along the lines of 'salve'.
The position of my aforementioned cyst lies in the 'no fly zone' that exists in the lower back between the borderlands of the lower spine and buttocks. Due to conflicts that have arisen between the two territories the exact border remains a bit sketchy with the boundary taking a more southernly position in the plumbing profession and a much more northward geography for more conservative librarians. No matter what vernacular one chooses to describe the location its whereabouts make sitting unbearable and it needed to be taken care of as hastily as possible.
I hesitate to divulge too much detail but the procedure called for me to become naked, poked with a very sharp needle (which produced a pain so excruciating that words could never do it justice), lacerated with a scalpel and then padded with copious amounts of gauze. Needless to say that whole ordeal was quite humbling especially the part where a middle aged nurse held cotton to my bleeding posterior while I fumbled with the 'hospital hot-pants' that were produced in order to hold an oversized band-aid in place. Thinking the worst was behind me I was then informed that surgery must be scheduled to remove the infected area so that I wouldn't find myself in such a demeaning position again. I will certainly keep you all informed of matters on this front because it's the only fair thing to do after the above introductory promulgation.
Now for other matters...
Because my procedure necessitated that I be 'as inactive at possible' I took it as a cue to catch up on some books and video games I have been meaning to tackle. I continued my quest to read the entire New Testament by finishing 2 Peter. Matty was also so kind as to bring me Batman: The Long Halloween an excellent mystery collaboration between Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale that I read cover to cover in a single sitting. I enjoyed it so much that Dark Victory was instantly promoted to the top of my shopping list.
I rented The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay to fulfill the other half of my entertainment needs and my current review remains mixed. On one hand the title deserves raucous applause for being the rare exception to the 'movie licensed games suck' rule. My qualms with it are the hand to hand fighting combat system, which always presents frustrating moments of cacophony, and the ridiculously long cut scenes which betray its shameless cinematic origins. Perhaps my dissatisfaction stems from the fact that it isn't exactly like Halo; I sometimes wish every FPS title for the XBOX would simply emulate the game exactly only diverting in the realms of level design so I can have a de novo single player experience.
Oh and here's some entertainment.
Posted by Jon at March 10, 2005 02:24 AM