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April 12, 2005
Her Spider Sense Was Tingling!
So I've noticed that most of my posts as of late, well as of ever, have had something to do with what can only be described as geeky stuff, i.e. webcomics, video games et cetera. It's not as if these are the only things I want to talk about but when I find myself in front of a computer, ready to write with my fingers tentatively hovering over the keys, those aforementioned subjects are the only things that come to mind. It's almost as if the glow from these fifteen inches of liquid crystal wipe away all non-nerd related material from my brain so I furiously begin documenting the thoughts that persist, afraid if any delay is tolerated that I might forget them as well.
As I had mentioned before, I really love Penny Arcade and anxiously await the days beginning in 'M', 'W' and 'F' in order to both read Tycho's words and see Gabe's Art. Frequently however, these tri-weekly doses of entertainment are not enough so, instead of doing something useful with my time, I started reading their archived posts from 2000.
Contained in this news write-up were some links to both pictures (Tycho, second from left; Gabe, in the middle with the G.I. Joe shirt) and videos of the pair. Though I realize that their characters are entirely virtual I was under the direct assumption (whether warranted or not) that their actual selves were closely analogous to their virtual representations. The lines of distinction between the 'real' Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins and the invented Jonathan Gabriel and Tycho Brahe when described throughout the site are non-existent with no attempt at differentiating between the two. If additional clarification is needed pertaining to an adventure shown in the corresponding strip the characters are appropriately referred to as 'Tycho and Gabe' and if the creator's actual sentient selves take a two week respite it's 'Tycho and Gabe' are on vacation.
My reason for over analyzing this minutiae (apart from its being posted on the internet and not in any sort of reputable print publication) is that when I saw and heard them they were in no way like their characters. Well, I guess I'll just say it, they were nerds. This is in no way an insult, since I often categorize myself into the same demographic, it's just that in the comic itself the characters are presented in such a hip, appealing way; it's as if somehow spending all your money, time and effort purchasing, playing and analyzing video games could somehow make you undeniably cool.
I could start to wax philosophic here about the implications this has on the perceived disparity between a creator's actual self and the image he or she seeks to represent but I feel as though that would truly bore you, the reader (if you aren't already). I'll just sum it up by saying that it was just kinda wierd to see that two heros of mine were somewhat socially awkward, well in the traditional sense at least.
Now watch me, as Kelly Clarkson says, 'break away' from the kingdom of virtual as I sail into the realm of reality...
I was recently informed that, pending any sort of uterus-related disaster, in roughly nine months I will be an uncle. This is achieved by my sister's miraculous ability to combine both sperm and egg together to form a smaller version of herself (I understand this process is somewhat automated). I must admit that I am very excited at the prospect though I have had no part in bringing this momentous occasion to light. I know babies are born every day but I am told this time it holds special significance because its mother once inhabited the same womb I did.
When Joanna first told me about it my initial inclination was to hang up the phone and tell everyone but she asked that I didn't, citing her desire to make sure her conjecture was actual fact. Initially I thought she was going on some sort of maternal 'Spider Sense' so I informed her that they have at-home tests for that sort of thing now. She replied with a sort of harsh sarcasm that betrayed her knowledge of their existence and promptly told me she had already taken four (all affirming the fact that she was with child) but wanted to be absolutely sure by visiting a doctor.
This whole course of action seemed ludicrous but with a human life (or lack thereof) seemingly in the balance who am I to argue? After taking some time to chew on our agreement I called her again and told her how ridiculous she was, citing her neoteric behavior being similar to craving a chocolate covered pickled beet, further proving her gestating innards. I mean, what could a doctor discover that a stream of urine and four positive test scores could not? She finally relented which left me pleased with both her pliability and my apparent persuasive skills. Her one request? That I don't go 'telling everybody' and I promised her that I wouldn't 'shout it from the rooftops or anything'.
Though the treads of my shoes have yet to touch shingles I just realized that I am doing the virtual equivalent, heck I'm surpassing it in terms of sheer audience potential. The amount of people audible from my roof compared to that of those with a grasp of the english language and an internet-ready computer are so disparate that using analogies of different ballparks to describe it still doesn't begin to explicate the breadth of the chasm. Though I am, in a way, breaking our pact I'm not to worried about it considering my current amount of readers.
Speaking of which, I have been wondering about the numeric specificity of the aforementioned amount. Whether you know it or not, it is possible to leave comments (just click on the 'Comments (#)' below the line at the conclusion of this passage) about my posts and I would encourage you to. Feel free to disagree with me, promote various websites, poke fun at my need to compensate for my failings as a man by using words I hardly understand or even congratulate me on my sister's apparent fertility. Though I will continue to write even if my readership wanes to cipher it would be nice to know if you exist and what you think of this whole endeavor.
Oh, I almost forgot about providing you with the requisite entertainment.
Posted by Jon at April 12, 2005 12:19 AM