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June 15, 2005
Solitary Confinement
Last night I had the occasion to talk to a good friend about the opportunity costs involved in human relationships and no matter how you break it down they are simply not worth it logically speaking. The time and energy we invest into other people rarely breaks down into an equal return of positive feedback from those we devoted our care to. In spite of this we continue to torture ourselves by placing so much expectation into an investment that rarely pays dividends in the short term and occasionaly becomes a source of agony as more time passes. Don't get me wrong here, I am not advocating the life of a despondent hermit but, one must be willing to endure times of hardship with those they care about in order to accommodate the temporary struggles their counterpart may be facing that restrict them from giving equally to that relationship. At any one time the breakdown of investment is rarely 50/50 but from a wider angle all does seem to even out in the end.
I don't think that it's the payoff that we are interested in but instead we are inexplicably drawn to engage in these relationships. We do not have to be taught to interact with other individuals; it comes as a base instinct during our infancy. We only turn inwards when those few initial experiences during our formative years left a nasty taste on our palette that is not easily cleansed. The real mystery left in the wake of this minor revelation is can someone who has been conditioned to turn inwards reverse this process and interact with their peers with the same fluency as one who been constantly surrounded by unconditional love? Any help with this relational conundrum would be appreciated.
Wow, who would have thought that this whole project would have gone from geek to emo in only six short months? Perhaps I should invest in a web-cam so I can post ultra-close-up, contrasty pictures of myself with my knees locked tight to my chest to further accentuate my recent despondency. I kid, I kid...there is little doubt that in time I will return to my more traditional manner of casual, vacuous content after those major decisions I alluded to are finally decided upon.
Oh, and as promised here are some pictures of my more recent clothing designs.
Here's a shirt I made for my friend Mel's birthday:
And here's one we made together (she came up with the idea and I knocked out the design) before she left for California:
I've made a few others but haven't taken pictures yet, don't worry they'll be up soon.
Posted by Jon at June 15, 2005 11:18 PM