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September 09, 2006
Last Night Into This Morning
Though I don't actively write in mine I absolutely enjoy reading people's blogs. Like mostly everything I enjoy doing, reading these little stops on the internet makes me jealous because I wish I could be so casually transparent and open about what I am really feeling. There's a part of me that is so guarded and careful with what I share that when I write it's more of an essay then a true picture of my emotional state. If it has to do with video games, something I bought or a concept in philosophy I can ramble ad-nauseam but, if it is about me then I lock up and can't find the right words to describe what I'm feeling.
I was listening to Howard this week and they were talking about how Dick Clark had to teach himself how to speak again after having a stroke and I thought that was the craziest thing I ever heard. It got me thinking about what it means to talk and how someone could lose it like a bag of marbles or a pair of glasses. It means that in our minds we don't think in English - or Spanish or French for that matter - we think in concepts, ideas and vague realizations. The only thing words are is the fragile string that connects two tin cans; a primitive apparatus for transporting a vague ghost of what sound vibrations actually are. Dick Clark had to teach himself how to speak again and I realized I had to teach myself how to make words out of emotions and feelings. I think everyone has something they are not willing to admit or deal with and my struggle to communicate gets expressed through the knots in my stomachs or the heady electricity that surfaces when I'm angry at someone. And I do get angry...but it hardly ever shows.
I turn that negativity into something creative like DJing or painting or design or writing, it's what allows me to stay up late and relentlessly push on a project. I feel like a indian native-american Wampanoagg who uses every part of the animal. Sure, you kill it for it's meat but what about the skin and bones? I experience the meat of human relationships because it's what I'm hungry for but, what do I do when the meat it gone? I am left with a pile of bones and hide which will allegorically represent my freshly wounded emotional state and totally confused mindset. I take this 'stuff' and make things out of it; objects that I'll use everyday for a myriad of tasks that help me but, inevitably serve as a reminder that I'm still hungry.
Now, for this week's bigoted generalization: women suck and are liars. Also: you should watch ZeFrank...he's the best bone and leather sculptor I've seen yet.
Here's a little house mix I whipped up a couple of weeks ago to celebrate fall being here. It was one of those moments when everything flows together and you don't regret your track selection at all. It starts off on the breaks side of the street (Hold You), stopping off for a quick detour into techno territory (Schiphol) before plunging into a house-conscious-progressive-tech journey (Warung Beach, Genesis, Brothers & Sisters, 1983), all while maintaining an ever-present electro sheen (At Night, The Things You Say, Keule) and finishing with a smooth classic from Underworld. You can download it by clicking on this entire sentence. Tracklisting below:
01: Dopamine - Hold You
02: Chris Macali - Schiphol (Santiago Nino Remix)
03: Dave Spoon - At Night
04: John Digweed - Warung Beach (Mashtronic's White Sands Mix)
05: Cicada - The Things You Say (Dirty South Remix)
06: Jaytech - Genesis
07: Paul Kalkbrenner - Keule
08: Quivver - Brothers & Sisters
09: Paolo Mojo - 1983 (Eric Prydz Remix)
10: Underworld - Twist
Posted by Jon at September 9, 2006 10:11 AM