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January 03, 2008
Getting Adjusted
I recently went back to work after over a three month vacation which included traveling in Europe. In fact, I'm writing this at work as I wait for my application paper work and possible re-orientation. It feels uncomfortable being here, back at the same job that I left in the fall, and I'm trying to figure out why.
I feel as though I should be happy: it's a five minute drive from home, I'm back to the same pay and sitting at the same desk. I have an employer willing to take me back so I could selfishly travel for a quarter of a year which I know to be a rare thing.
So why all the gloom?
Well, I think it's because I feel like I haven't grown at all; I feel like a failure as a designer if I'm really honest. I haven't done any serious personal design projects in over a year now and I feel very stale as a result. Am I done challenging myself, have I resigned myself to collecting a paycheck and permanently cement myself into the rat race I was so adamantly opposed to?
No. The answer is no. But, I do think this whole thing serves as a wake up call to do a little self examination. What is important to me? Am I doing it? Am I neglecting things I should be doing? Who knows, I guess I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about it.
Without further ado, however, here's 10 things I learned in 2007. I think some self-reflection will provide me with some much needed perspective.
10 Things I Learned in 2007 (In no particular order):
1. The radiolab podcast is awesome. Though I am referring to it as a podcast it is actually a professionally produced radio show by WNYC in New York that I automatically download through iTunes. The best way that I can think to describe it is as This American Life for casual science geeks which, coincidentally, is me. Basically the hosts, Jad Abumrad and Robert Crulwitch, pick a topic like Zoos, Sleep, Mortality etc and present three or four different reports on that theme. It never gets boring and they never go over the average persons' head. Out of each 'season' they only produce five episodes at the time and care they put into them really shows. I can't recommend it enough.
2. Being in love is insanely great. I started dating Kayla in February, asked her to marry me in November and will become her husband in July. Over my lifetime I've asked a lot of couples how and when they knew that their spouse was 'the one'. All have given the same answer, 'you just know...' and, up until recently, it always drove me crazy. The weird thing is, they were right...at least for me, that is. I'm going to expand a little on all that though because I can sympathize with anyone who was in my former position: Find someone who you really like to spend time with, your friends want to spend time with and who challenges you to become a better person through honest and true encouragement instead of guilt-trips and pseudo-parenting. Don't look for someone who is a
trophy (or will view you as one), find someone you honestly want to travel through life with and is dedicated to growing as both a couple and as an individual (as you should be).
3. Spending a little extra money and time to cook for yourself is super rewarding. It just makes you feel better about yourself because you get two things 1) a tasty meal and 2) a sense of accomplishment. Having a crappy day? Cook lunch, it'll lighten your mood. Don't know how to cook? Go to foodnetwork.com for ideas or buy a simple cook book for a few bucks at the ever present clearance tables at Barnes & Noble, Borders or Amazon. Don't get down on yourself if your first few
recipes turn out like garbage, it's a rite of passage and you'll learn loads in the process.
4. I produce far too much waste than is warranted. America is super duper wasteful. We live in a culture of unchecked consumption and it's ruining the environment, our standing with the rest of the world and our mental/spiritual health. When I was in Switzerland the family Kayla and I stayed with put out a single small blue back of trash (about 2/3 the size of an average kitchen trash bag here in
America) once a week while at home I was putting out about 2 and it's just me and my roommate Matty. I've taken a big step back and am trying to think about not only how much waste I produce but how much I consume in terms of food and other material goods. Living simply is a rewarding thing and I want to bring that aspect of the European vibe home.
5. Jacob's Creek Cabernet Savignon is still the best wine under $10. When I first started drinking wine three years ago I dedicated myself to discovering great wines that wouldn't break the bank. The Austrailian winery Jacob's Creek has consistently amazing wines and their Cabernet is no exception. It's full bodied, dry and full of flavor for only $8.99.
6. I am a deeply selfish person. Oof. Most of the time I'm only thinking about me while having enough prowess to make it seem as though I'm selfless. Being in a serious dating relationship and having friends who are free to be honest (in the good way) has a way of bringing something like that to the surface. I'm working on it though, slowly and surely.
7. I'm getting a lot better at forgiving myself. I'm living a lot more peacefully now and part of that has to do with not being so hard on myself. I used to be super, super critical of myself and it left me stressed and constantly second guessing everything that I did. Now when I mess up, I admit it and move on. If I find that I am unhappy I choose patient reflection over a premature and hurried reaction that I think will fix it. Life isn't about making money or being beautiful or being famous/well liked, it's about discovering who you are and what makes you happy and then going after it. I'm done wasting time nervously reacting to the expectations of others.
8. Traveling is great for the soul. Not sure where your life is headed? Scared you're getting stuck in a rut? Tired of where you live? Travel. Even if it's to the town next door. Take some time to explore something new and you'll realize how big, beautiful and amazing the world really is. It doesn't have to be Europe either, the United States is huge and full of beautiful exciting things all within driving distance. Get out of your comfort zone and I guarantee you'll have a better understanding about just how much of a gift it is to be alive and it'll help you figure out all the pesky details of existence that we tend to waste most of our time on. Here's a quote by Sir Richard Burton (an African explorer) that says it best: "The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands. The blood flows with the fast circulation of childhood."
9. America isn't the greatest country on earth. That's not 'unpatriotic', it's true. America is great, it's the country I want to live in but we are terrible at a number of very important things: health care, freedom (yes, freedom, we suck at it...see the Patriot Act if you need any further clarification), our media and foreign policy. The whole mentality of 'We're #1!' has caused us to get lazy and stop challenging ourselves to be the best. It's time we cut that out.
10. Pre-emptive war is a horribly damaging thing. Thanks George W. Bush for getting the entire world to distrust and look down upon our once great nation. Let's stop being the world's bully and start being the leader who is followed not out or fear or from threats but because what we are doing merits respect.
Posted by Jon at January 3, 2008 10:32 AM