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September 30, 2007
I Love Basel
Since I first landed in Basel I have certainly liked it. After tonight, I love it.
It's been a little odd getting adjusted to having a completely open schedule. Every single night of my week back home had me scheduled to do something and I really liked it. Everything my life was filled with what I consider to be 'good' 'great' things. Sundays at Teen Cell, Monday nights with the BP crew, Tuesdays with Matty, Wednesdays with cell, Thursdays with Kayla and Fridays with beer/gin & tonics/video games/movies/Zorbas are all, in their own right, excellent things to look forward to. My only unscheduled day was Saturday and I mostly spend it doing absolutely nothing...a much needed Sabbath as the capstone to a busy week.
Here in Switzerland every day is Saturday. I am, effectively, on vacation and I'm living as such: sleeping in late, playing video games (Gotta catch em' all!™), learning about ActionScript, running the occasional errand and generally relaxing. This was good for the first few days but it has left me antsy for some kind of structure/achievement.
Kayla and I are similar in this sense and since yesterday we've been talking about goal setting and accomplishing things while we're here. The thing is, I don't want to accomplish anything. I want to sit around and waste the days away.
No wait....I don't want to do that either. Colon open-parentheses.
This whole unsettled-vague-depression-slash-no-motivation thing had been coming to a head last night into today and as the day dragged on I couldn't shake it. You know when you take a nap and you aren't even tired? Yeah, that's been me.
The thing is, I haven't felt that way for a LONG time like, since college. After I left Messiah I had this insane drive to make something with my life and it has served me pretty well. I've landed some cool jobs and developed real relationships with some amazing people. So, why here? Why now while I am on friggin' Europe on a three month trip where I don't have to (nor need to) work am I feeling depressed?
Like most big scary questions, looking for the answer often leads to more depression and self-loathing. Kayla and I ran over our options for the evening: watch a movie? Ugh. Watch a David Attenborough documentary? (Me: YES! Kayla: ugh.) Go into the center of Basel (Both: Sweet! But....it's Sunday...everything is shut down.) Take a walk? (Both: sounds good.)
And so we did.
Oh and it was the most glorious walk I have ever had in my life. We had no destination, just ambled through the back, winding and hilly streets of Basel, fully aware and hungry for something real to entertain us. Kayla had previously spent seven months here so there wasn't too big of a worry in getting lost. At first she took me up a big hill and when I turned to sit on a bench I realized we were overlooking the city.
Oof.
Nick sent me a comment over MySpace mentioning that J.R.R. Tolkien got his idea for the Misty Mountains after a trip to Switzerland. Homeboy was right.
Basel is nestled in this amazing little valley surrounded by rolling mountains that, at night, are dotted all over with little sprays of electric light. Kayla and I just sat there on that bench talking about the reasons why human beings so love to look out over vast expanses. Kayla said it's because we like to see there's something bigger than us and I agreed. She also said this -- which I thought was so beautiful and perfect and apt that I want to put it up on the internet so Google can cache this pearl of wisdom so it will be saved forever -- that every time she sees someone on the street she tries to remember that that person loves someone and is loved by someone else. It's pretty simple and, upon inspection, a pretty obvious thing really but, man, if people could get their minds around that I'm sure war would quickly become a non-issue. It also gave me some hard evidence on why I am just so in love with this woman and am going to marry her. If those sorts of revelations sit at the core of a person you know the depth of the purity of their heart.
Did I mention this was at the start of the walk?
We then left the bench and walked down innumerable side streets, stopping to peer in windows and admire the decidedly European decor and decidedly European people. In other words we were kinda creepy. At this one big house we watched a couple ballroom dancing; spinning, embracing and moving about a brightly lit, beautifully large room. Does it get any more classic than that?
The streets were quiet and safe. A cat even came up to say hello and we squatted down in the glow of a street lamp to admire it's fur and warm demeanor.
Kayla lead me down a pitch-black, straight out of a horror movie, path which held a huge stone, straight out of a horror movie, mansion and then over a moonlit field back to our neighborhood. We ambled along, drank from a bubbling brass fountain and swung on a playground love-seat, staring at the moon and feeling the crisp fall air as it freed leaves from their moorings and dusted our faces with the scent of burning wood.
It was a night of, as we call them, moments. Those periods in time where you forget who you are, what you are doing and surrender completely to what is going on around you; caught up in this big mystery of life and enjoying every nano-second of it.
This is why I now love Basel. This is why I'm not depressed anymore. I arrived at the realization that I came to Basel to be somewhere else, to be out of my comfort zone and see what living is like over an ocean and I got my first taste today. These are the sort of experiences that excite me to write, to share, to let the people I love know that I'm forming new stories to bring home and over-excitedly retell once I get full of wine and pasta.
Tomorrow: more adventure. Tonight: sleep.
Oh and you should definitely watch 'King of Kong'...who knew a documentary of competitive video gaming could be so moving?
Posted by Jon at September 30, 2007 07:00 PM
Comments
Keep writing my son. I enjoy reading your perspective to the point that I feel as though I am walking with you and Kayla. The beauty is not only in your surroundings but growing deeply in your hearts. The love that you two are growing and sharing is the the love I have had for her since the first hour I held her. It is truely never ending. It is also ever strengthening and gives me the courage to keep on keeping on.
"If you want to have JOY & FREEDOM, Love God and Love People" anne marie donica 1993
pj pops
Posted by: Paul at October 3, 2007 09:36 AM
With words like this, no pictures are needed...
Posted by: Benjamin Jancewicz at October 11, 2007 12:22 PM