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March 30, 2005
Portable Wars
So remember all those things I was going to post about? Well I decided against it favoring to abandon the telling of many old tidbits in favor of one, more recent, morsel.
In case any of you needed to know, I still hate Sony. Not the makers of fine components, televisions and headphones but rather the horrid cyst within known as the 'Playstation Division' that pumps out mediocre crap that can only be loosely categorized as 'video games'. My distaste for the company began when the original Playstation launched and I must admit it was quite sophomoric. The whole affair hinged solely on the notion that they were trying to dethrone Nintendo as the kings of gaming which I viewed as a disrespectful act after they so lovingly supplied us with so many timeless experiences on the NES and SNES. It wasn’t competition I feared, Sega Saturn and Sega CD proved mere pygmies in this battle of giants, but rather because they were taking developers away from the franchise. I know this may sound silly now but Final Fantasy VII wasn’t going to be on N64?! I was young at the time but the experience was quite jarring to say the least.
This disapproval with the company turned to solid detestation when friends of mine became proponents of the Playstation based on the most retarded of arguments: ‘but look how many games it has?’ As if the mere presence of numerous discs somehow verifies its greatness! It wasn’t, ‘look how many great games it has’ but simply ‘look how many are up on the shelf!’ I was content to play Goldeneye for the billionth time while waiting for Ocarina to drop and would easily sacrifice my first-born just to own the system that was able to play such amazing titles as Mario Kart 64 and The New Tetris. It was now safe to say that I was in the camp of quality and not quantity.
Being the American consumer that I am, I will always flirt with the notion of purchasing something when it is first announced, even if it does have ‘Playstation’ in its name. Though I must admit to all of you that I was simply waiting for the first batch of bad news about the PSP and a few months ago Sony certainly didn’t disappoint. Assured this would curb an insane amount of sales I had apparently forgotten about Sony’s fanboy contingent and the hype around the PSP didn’t seem to diminish in the least. It was ridiculous to me that blatantly bad design could be dismissed so nonchalantly as if having a larger screen warranted an entire button becoming obsolete; again, the whole different camps thing.
Well now it comes out that pixels are dying on the PSP’s screen faster than brain cells at a Phish concert. In response to its customers dissatisfied outcries, Sony responded with yet another ridiculous press-release. This time their excuse stems from a rather common occurrence, that all LCD’s loose pixels over time. This is in fact true but I’ve had my TiBook for almost three years and it still is yet to loose a single pixel and it has gobs more than the PSP. When I explain this to my PSP owning friends they respond like a conditioned pet of Pavlov, ‘but look how many games it has!’
I am happy to report that the purchase of a DS is still on the horizon, thank you very much. Though Nintendo continues its ridiculous tradition of releasing only a few games at launch I believe in the system and will wait for a few more titles to drop, confident in the magnificent experience they will produce. Hell, for Wario Ware: Touched alone the money is worth it. If you need any further proof for the DS’s superiority just check this out.
My trip has been going well but there is simply too much to post about that I will save any reflections til my return next week. Goodbye for now!
Posted by Jon at 05:37 PM | Comments (7)
March 28, 2005
An Impetuous Clarification
Though I do not have the time to do a proper post I did want to at least explain this recent absence from my usual internet discourse. I am currently on vacation in Arizona, where I have been since Saturday and will remain until this coming Friday. From there I will fly to Ohio where I will visit until the following Tuesday and be home sometime late that night. You can expect a full and proper report upon my return.
I have been keeping a list of the things I want to tell all of you so if I do find time to post this week it will be a lengthy one. Regrettably this is all for now for I am off to the Grand Canyon, where I'll be all day, and tomorrow I'll be in Sedona. Peace, love and Jesus.
While I am away be sure to keep yourselves amused.
Posted by Jon at 02:07 PM | Comments (1)
March 20, 2005
On Catching Up
Last week I had mentioned my renewed interest in French House and since then I have been collecting some singles to listen to while on the road. Tonight's anthem was Falcon and Bangalter's infamous first tag team attempt Together, an ultra repetitious but absolute joy inducing disco romp. The entire track is basically a seven minute exhibition of the same 4-beat measure repeated over and over again but I never grew tired of it; keeping the song on repeat and listening to it at least a dozen times just today.
Though Together's groove is no doubt infectious my current addiction to the track no doubt stems in part from its inclusion in my midnight Amistad sets from 2000/01. As I drove through the tall pines of Halifax I remembered how it felt to have the knots form in my stomach as Jed, Matty and I set up the decks at 'the V' and the way the Jasmine tea smelled brewing in the other room. We had a small, but tight knit audience then and when the requisite crew gathered on those Tuesdays at midnight the ambience was absolutely electric.
I don't want to wax poetic but part of the appeal of those times was that all of us were under the assumption that the relationships we nurtured then would continue indefinitely into the future. It turns out that the aspects of intensity and fragility in human relations are in no way mutually exclusive and the unexpected demise of those treasured bonds only adds to the melancholy joy of their fond remembrance.
Czeslaw Milosz describes the emotion best in his Nobel Prize winning Late Ripeness:
Not soon, as late as the approach of my ninetieth year,
I felt a door opening in me and I entered
the clarity of early morning.
One after another my former lives were departing,
like ships, together with their sorrow.
And the countries, cities, gardens, the bays of seas
assigned to my brush came closer,
ready now to be described better than they were before.
I was not separated from people,
grief and pity joined us.
We forget - I kept saying - that we are all children of the King
Posted by Jon at 05:42 AM | Comments (1)
March 19, 2005
This One's For Beezoo
The first genuine correlation between myself and the term 'fanboy' began at a very young age when I discovered Lucas' timeless space epic, Star Wars. Before I reached high school I had watched each movie in the series over 30 times and to date I have partaken in upwards of 50 viewings of Episodes IV, V and VI.
My feelings towards George's first two installments in his prequel trilogy have been mixed. I was absolutely crazy about Episode I and saw it at least 30 times during its summer release in 1999. (Disclaimer: I worked as an usher at a movie theatre at the time and watched The Phantom Menace frequently while on the clock.) I honestly didn't mind Jar Jar, though I certainly wouldn't count myself as one of his 'fans', and thought the overall pacing, visuals, dialogue and action sequences did the series justice. Attack of the Clones however, was an absolute travesty. Hayden Christensen should chew on an uzi for the abysmal butchering he issued to the craft of dramatic acting and the overtly baroque Yoda lightsaber sequence, though initially thrilling, seems entirely out of place. Just because you can make a crippled little green man flip around like a crack induced Pokémon doesn't mean you should Mr. Lucas. I liked it better when Frank Oz, not some 30-year old CG-animator, was at the creative helm of Master Yoda.
To say I felt let down was an understatement; the strong sentiment of betrayal experienced was more akin to being raped as I watched the legacy of my beloved Star Wars become tarnished and soiled. In order to avoid any future disappointment I tried not to emotionally involve myself in the hype surrounding Revenge of the Sith; I was excited to see Lord Vader's emergence but didn't want to set myself up for certain despondency.
No matter how much I convince myself that Episode III will certainly suck, last week's new trailer release has rekindled in me a new hope (excuse the pun) that Sith will deliver a dark experience akin to Empire. Another reason for my recent change of heart has to do with fellow insider fanboy Ewan McGregor's latest comments regarding his approval in the quality of this last installment. All venomous critique and speculation aside the mere thought that new, fresh information will be added to this treasured canon appeals to me greatly and it is a sure bet I'll have pre-ordered my tickets for the midnight showing.
Posted by Jon at 10:33 PM | Comments (5)
March 16, 2005
God Bless The Internet
Ami Dar's initial reaction to his introduction to the internet in 1993 was that it had been invented exclusively for him. I can relate to this revelation entirely due to the vast amounts of entertainment, education and community I have already gleaned from this wonderful invention. Sites like this continue to reinforce my continued love affair with its existence.
Before moving on to more current business I want to briefly refer to yesterday's post. I made an admission to my behavior as being 'geeky' which I would now like to detract. Apparently I wasn't aware of these folks and now in comparison I could quite easily be referred to as one with only passive dedication to how I devote my time in the avenue of entertainment.
The long awaited emergence of the sun and its position as parade marshall to the inevitable arrival of spring has rekindled my interest in French House, more specifically to Thomas Bangalter's (the Roulé half of Daft Punk) and DJ Falcon's recent collaborations. The result has been the creation of a few ultra-loopy, big room oriented anthems containing the sort of infectious hook that can prompt one to awkwardly dance while driving. Their uninspired, basic construction leaves a bit to be desired but they accomplished what they set out to do: sell vinyl and fill dance floors.
Oh and this link is especially for Vader.
Posted by Jon at 04:58 AM | Comments (2)
March 15, 2005
The Title Needs Work
I'm not sure what it is about actual, tangible evil that seems to so entrance the public. I thought I might be somehow separate from the herd in this area until I saw that this would soon be for sale. My immediate fascination with the book coupled with my penchant for History Channel documentaries was akin to a mirror being immediately thrust in front of my face, serving as a revealing reminder of my own bovine features.
Since Calvin & Hobbes went out of syndication 10 years ago my interest in cartoons/comics waned to the point of extinction. The choked medium of the daily newspaper cartoon nearly squelched all the creativity out of the craft, which is ultimately why Watterson moved on to different pursuits. Running up the hill of recognition opposite to print's ever hastening decline is the exciting medium of web comics, something that currently occupies a treasured position in my weekly internet rounds. At the top of my list of admiration sits Penny Arcade which many of you are probably already familiar with. Their success can be partially attributed to their niche demographic of the gaming community but they retain readership through a unique style, consistent quality and startlingly intelligent insight.
The preceding gushing was sparked by Tycho's write-up today about 'electronic calisthenics'; a term he coined to describe the repeated practice of a title until it is mastered. Though video games are certainly a staple subject of my posts you might be surprised at how few I actually play. My inability to handle more than one at a time is evidenced by my obsession in reaching the apex of absolute virtuosity to any game I find myself even nominally entertained by. The thought of even beginning the open-ended experiences like World of Warcraft, Star Wars: Galaxies and other MMORPGs leaves me with a feeling of panic that in the past caused me to forcibly remove Diablo II from my laptop.
I don't want to think when I play; my sole desire consists of following the developer's clearly defined path to victory, perfecting my intial reflex oriented twitches into purposed graceful manuevering. It is because of this that movies like these bring me such excitement and, I can’t believe how geeky this sounds, inspire me to train.
Perhaps it was my adolescent diet of shooters and platformers rife with predictable, pattern oriented enemies whose behavior I could infallibly count on or maybe it stems from my need to squeeze out every ounce of value for each dollar I spend. Either way this apparent badge of stewardship serves as an excellent diversion to my underlying controlling neuroses.
Oh and not one to easily forget, a very Happy Birthday to you.
Posted by Jon at 04:41 AM | Comments (3)
March 11, 2005
The Weekly Letdown
In reflection our hindsight is often 20/20 and I would be a liar to make the claim that I do not revel in analyzing the past. It is in this spirit that I become even more thankful for such great friends who accompany me on my journey of over-examining the minutiae.
I'm not sure why I watch CSI every Thursday night, perhaps my first few positive experiences with the show created a sort of subconscious tractor beam that lures me in, promising to fulfill my nightly quest for entertainment. The show is very well made but I'm not sure the act of watching it is entirely pleasurable; the end is always marked with a familiar nausea due to the fact that nobody wins. The individuals close to the victim are in mourning and the investigators lack the glee one expects after such a victory. It is almost if each crime wears them down a little more and I get the second hand residue of their frustrated grief. Maybe next week I'll purpose to watch some cartoons. If it wasn't for this than my evening could have turned out to be a total loss.
Riddick isn't getting any better; I've lost nearly all interest in the title. Instead I returned to RE4, I am happy embarrassed to announce that I have nearly completed my second jaunt through the game; I am determined to get the infinite launcher and every piece of treasure hidden throughout. Even after these quests are completed there are plenty of other things to accomplish and at this point I cannot envision my interest waning in the least. If you own the Cube and don't have it than you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Halo 2 has also been in heavy rotation.
And musically it has been Leggo Beast all day...man he rules...
Posted by Jon at 03:34 AM | Comments (6)
March 10, 2005
Cystine Scalpel
Much internal debate was exercised over my decision to post the forthcoming content. In the end I decided in favor of it because it was your, the readers of my ramblings, entertainment that took paramount concern in the matter. My embarrassment becomes your delight; can't you see how much I love you?
The other day a pain in my lower back so excruciating presented itself while I sat trying my darndest to create some coupons. So much in fact that I left work a bit early in order to give my spine a morsel of respite. Upon returning home and receiving an amateur diagnosis from my mother it was decided that it was not a bruise but rather a cyst that needed immediate attention. Upon my inquiry into what could be done the ominous word 'lanced' was uttered when what I was hoping for was more along the lines of 'salve'.
The position of my aforementioned cyst lies in the 'no fly zone' that exists in the lower back between the borderlands of the lower spine and buttocks. Due to conflicts that have arisen between the two territories the exact border remains a bit sketchy with the boundary taking a more southernly position in the plumbing profession and a much more northward geography for more conservative librarians. No matter what vernacular one chooses to describe the location its whereabouts make sitting unbearable and it needed to be taken care of as hastily as possible.
I hesitate to divulge too much detail but the procedure called for me to become naked, poked with a very sharp needle (which produced a pain so excruciating that words could never do it justice), lacerated with a scalpel and then padded with copious amounts of gauze. Needless to say that whole ordeal was quite humbling especially the part where a middle aged nurse held cotton to my bleeding posterior while I fumbled with the 'hospital hot-pants' that were produced in order to hold an oversized band-aid in place. Thinking the worst was behind me I was then informed that surgery must be scheduled to remove the infected area so that I wouldn't find myself in such a demeaning position again. I will certainly keep you all informed of matters on this front because it's the only fair thing to do after the above introductory promulgation.
Now for other matters...
Because my procedure necessitated that I be 'as inactive at possible' I took it as a cue to catch up on some books and video games I have been meaning to tackle. I continued my quest to read the entire New Testament by finishing 2 Peter. Matty was also so kind as to bring me Batman: The Long Halloween an excellent mystery collaboration between Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale that I read cover to cover in a single sitting. I enjoyed it so much that Dark Victory was instantly promoted to the top of my shopping list.
I rented The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay to fulfill the other half of my entertainment needs and my current review remains mixed. On one hand the title deserves raucous applause for being the rare exception to the 'movie licensed games suck' rule. My qualms with it are the hand to hand fighting combat system, which always presents frustrating moments of cacophony, and the ridiculously long cut scenes which betray its shameless cinematic origins. Perhaps my dissatisfaction stems from the fact that it isn't exactly like Halo; I sometimes wish every FPS title for the XBOX would simply emulate the game exactly only diverting in the realms of level design so I can have a de novo single player experience.
Oh and here's some entertainment.
Posted by Jon at 02:24 AM | Comments (4)
March 07, 2005
Role Readjustment
Though I understand that many of you who read this are acquainted with me in some fashion externally from this site, my prior posts have not been exactly explicit in pertaining to my vocation as a graphic designer. The devotion I have to the independent part of my craft fluctuates as it would with any of my other interests and I find myself returning again to this core passion with many ideas for what I want to accomplish in the coming months, more specifically in the avenue of clothing design.
Since my portfolio site went live on New Years I have gone through a period of cultural digestion; taking the time to look, listen and gather through osmosis the things that instinctually stimulate me and attempt to understand what it is that initiates my attraction to them. As my mood shifts from voyeur to craftsmen I am faced with the task of focusing these dispersed excerpts into a new endemic creation native to my own desires and experiences. Though I believe Picasso's infamous statement to be true I just hope I am adept at deceiving you all into thinking that my forthcoming productions are entirely original.
On the cultural front I am rather enjoying the empyrean sounds of Wagon Christ and keeping myself amused with MC Chris, whom fans of Aqua Teen will already be well acquainted. Speaking of Adult Swim, I picked up season two of Sealab 2021 (yes Kate, I found a suitable suture for my vacuous entertainment desideratum) and had the pleasure of viewing the first few episodes. So far it's been very funny and I'll be sure to let you know how the remainder of it performs.
Posted by Jon at 05:02 AM | Comments (5)
March 05, 2005
Mr. Kent Was Not Invited
Though the presence of a few superheros that I can truly say perturb me certainly exists, none have caused me agitation to the point of exasperation in which I would pray for their latency (or total absence) in coming to my aid in a time of crisis. I always had some reservations about the caped crusader but in light of this evidence my disgust for him has bypassed the liquid state completely as it moved from a vaporous, instinctual dislike to a truly solid detestation.
My tax return this year was drastically lower than expected, in fact I am indebted to the government the paltry sum of $15. While we are sometimes assured that the government is our friend it is hard to envision the powers that dictate much of my life to be an affable chum when they demand such a small sum in addition to the thousands already deducted from my weekly paychecks. Though I understand why I was issued this miniscule invoice, my willingness to overlook much of the detriment they have caused me over the past twelve months would be easier to muster if simply an open palm were raised and I was told to 'not worry about it.'
Tonight I took part in celebrating Sam's birthday by eating Sushi and playing Katamari Damacy, an absolutely wonderful title borne out of an overactive imagination and/or voracious appetite for hallucinogenics. It's existence and subsequent success prove that it is not flashy graphics or startling emulated realism that make a successful game but rather a tenacious pursuit of innovative and simple gameplay.
Posted by Jon at 06:03 AM | Comments (5)
March 04, 2005
Apparently I'm A Lesbian
Never one to give such credence to 'internet quizzes' the results of this one left me with an inordinate amount of concern. My brain tested 66.67% positive for estrogen which leads me to question whether the object lodged in my throat is really an Adam's apple or just an ovary extending down from my medulla oblongata.
Recently a good friend and DJ from New York finished a fantastic little mix that has found its way into heavy rotation on my iPod. The joy it has brought to my drives, both to and from work, borders on the territory of euphoria. I find it increasingly hard to explain why I have such a deep love for great house music with most of my attempted would-be-converts explaining that its lack of lyrics and nauseating repetition contribute to their initial reservations.
When asked how I could enjoy it to such a high degree my only justification is that it inspires me to move as if caught in some sort of voluntary autistic trance, whether it be in the undulations of my limbs or the cadency it affords to my thoughts.
I imagine more would be ensnared as I have if they could only taste the experiences of rapture I know to be existent in the genre.
Posted by Jon at 04:46 AM | Comments (10)
March 03, 2005
Too Hot For TV?
Many times I have heard the phrase, 'Some people have all the luck,' but never did I think I would become the subject of the axiom:
Thanks Mel, you truly are terrific.
In a completely unrelated note, the fact that we cannot kill kids anymore kind of bothers me. My opposition to the Supreme Court's decision lies not in the side of the debate I take, which at this moment is undecided, it was the manner in which the whole situation was resolved. The underlying premise of the court's argument is that the laws of our nation should be in line with those of our international neighbors -- not dictated by its citizens or our constitution. Justice Scalia is a hero for voicing his dissent so eloquently:
Though the views of our own citizens are essentially irrelevant to the court's decision today, the views of other countries and the so-called international community take center stage. More fundamentally, however, the basic premise of the court's argument - that American law should conform to the laws of the rest of the world - ought to be rejected out of hand. In fact the court itself does not believe it....What these foreign sources "affirm," rather than repudiate, is the justices' own notion of how the world ought to be, and their diktat that it shall be so henceforth in America. The court's parting attempt to downplay the significance of its extensive discussion of foreign law is unconvincing. "Acknowledgment" of foreign approval has no place in the legal opinion of this court unless it is part of the basis for the court's judgment - which is surely what it parades as today.
This proposed brand of international conformity threatens the very underpinnings of the great document our nation was founded upon and what brought us to be the world superpower we are today.
In other news, the Wario Ware competition has been heating up significantly with my chief opponent returning each of my serves with an increasingly devastating forehand. This foe has most certainly been underestimated but I have committed myself to being a reputable representative for my team in this battle of the sexes. Her skills are to be commended and I propose she star in the sequel.
Posted by Jon at 04:53 AM | Comments (1)
March 02, 2005
Anxious For My Tax Return
Few things are borne in the avenue of entertainment that can truly span across numerous demographics. This game is one of them.
Nintendo continues to produce product after product that fulfills the demand for fun, re-playability and more recently: the nostalgia quotient. I must recognize that I have yet to own a DS of my own and have been unashamedly borrowing John's during our breaks at work. Oh and to the pair of blondes...please...any records you set will be promptly broken. I think your inability to 'hang' in the category of mini-games has something to do with the gift endowed to you by God in being able to bear children. You have the privilege of giving life while we were bestowed the facility to stand when we pee and own at video games. I leave it for you to decide which is more important.
On a related note, I thought I would buy Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory to listen to the music alone. That was until I learned there would be a soundtrack available. Amon Tobin, the artist behind it all, has created a sort of heterogeneous soup containing the constituents of epic strings, throbbing melodies and the sort of hard-tech-step-scatter-bass-chaos-beat that inspires the adrenal glands to immediately defecate into your bloodstream. A free track is available at their website. I'll be sure to let you know what I think of the album.
Oh and this woman is insane if she doesn't opt for the money.
Posted by Jon at 02:57 AM | Comments (10)